Question

Can someone proofread my conclusion paragraph about if I disagree or agree with football being too dangerous? If you see anything wrong tell me.
High schoolers have already heard of football and it’s dangers. Football is a dangerous sport everyone knows that but it’s not too dangerous. If football was safe it would take away from the uniqueness that football is it’s the danger of football that makes it a good sport. I’m not saying a sport should be dangerous to make it good, but that exactly what makes football a game that will be here forever. I believe that parents should agree or maybe they already do that they should sign off on their kids playing football since it’s considered a dangerous sport. I disagree that football is too dangerous and needs to be made safer.

Answer 1

Instead of that why not say something like


High schoolers have been warned about the dangers of football but even so it’s something that everyone knows of and enjoys whether it’s watching or playing. Football has some moments where it can get unsafe but it’s nothing too dangerous to stop the sport. If football was a safer sport it would take away from the uniqueness that football is. Its a sport that has danger to make it enjoyable and that makes it a good sport. Of course not every sport has to have some action that can be unsafe to be enjoyable, but the slightest of danger is exactly what makes football a game that will be here forever. I believe that parents should sign their children up for football since it’s considered a unique and fun sport. I disagree that football is too dangerous to the point where it needs to become safer.

I hope this helped :)