I looked it up online and found the question related to this personal statement. It is the following:
Why does the writer need to revise the personal statement?
A. sentence 1 should include the writer’s first name.
B. sentence 2 should state what the essay prompt was.
C. sentence 3 should avoid mentioning money.
D. sentence 4 should avoid the extreme opinion.
Answer:
The reason why the writer needs to revise the personal statement is:
C. sentence 3 should avoid mentioning money.
Explanation:
<u>A personal statement is supposed to be a brief description of oneself in connection to the career one wishes to pursue. It should mention one's experience, education, and strengths in relation to that field. However, mentioning money should be avoided.</u> The personal statement is not the "place" to do so. Instead of sounding ambitious in a good way, talking about "good money" - as the writer did in the passage we are analyzing here - may make one sound shallow.
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