I’m writing a story and I want to know what you think. This is what I have so far. Sorry it’s long, but if you have time please
read it and give me honest feedback. Feel free to leave any suggestions below. :)
“ “Two coffees please” It’s Sunday morning and I’m going through the drive through of my favorite coffee place. This is pretty much a daily routine, I always have to grab two coffees. One for me and one for my best friend Ava. Today is my last day of freedom before school starts tomorrow. I am not excited at all. Tomorrow will start my sophomore year of college. The lady at the window hands me my drinks and off I go. I’m driving down the road and suddenly someone walks right out into the street. I slam on my breaks and the coffee spills everywhere. Great. There is no way this person is getting away with this. I park the car on the side of the street and run up to the guy. He doesn’t even acknowledge me. Fine, he wants to play that game? “Hello! Watch it!” I scream at him. He looks over at me and says, “Sorry sunflower, I’m not interested. And are you aware that you have coffee all over your clothes?” What? I’m just going to ignore the coffee comment. “Do not call me sunflower! And trust me, I’m not into guys like you.” He glares at me. “Guys like me?” “You know annoying, arrogant guys who think everything revolves around them.” He ignores my sassy comment and askes, “What do you want?” I smile knowing that I clearly won our little trash talk battle. “What do I want? Excuse me, you just ran in front of my car and made me spill my coffee!” “You’re excused sunflower” Ugh! This guy is getting on my nerves! “Aren’t you going to apologize for running in front of me?” I already know the answer, but I am not leaving until he pays for my coffee. Trust me, he’s paying. He looks at me again, this time I actually get a good look at him. He is very tall with black hair and bright green eyes. He’d definitely be cute if it weren’t for that awful attitude. Finally he says, “Why would I apologize, it ain’t my fault you spilled coffee, that’s called clumsiness sunflower.” What is his problem? “What’s with your obsession with sunflowers?” I ask him. He gives me a death stare. If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now. I definitely made him mad. Mission accomplished. He stares at me for a minute before I finally say, “Ok well if you aren’t going to say anything, I will. Give me your wallet.” He starts laughing, now it’s my turn to give the death stare. “Why in the world would I give you my wallet?” “You spilled my coffee and I’m not paying for more so come on. I need five bucks dude.” He stands there with an angry look on his face for the longest time. Finally, he pulls out his wallet and hands me five bucks. Wow, I thought I’d have to argue with him more. I take the money and say, “Why thank you.” He glares at me once again. I’m starting to think this dude doesn’t know how to smile. “Don’t think I actually like you sunflower, I only gave you that to make you go away.” This sunflower nickname is getting super annoying, good thing I’ll never have to see him again after this. I reply, “Whatever pretty boy.” I turn around and walk back to my car. I didn’t turn back to look at him, but I can feel he hates the fact that I just called him pretty boy. Good. It’s as stupid as the name sunflower. I get into my car and drive away. As I drive by I glance over at pretty boy once more. You guessed it, he’s still standing there with his classic angry glare.”
