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Tasya [4]
3 years ago
11

Hey guys looking for feedback and any mistakes on a small writing prompt that someone wrote for me. August 1st, 1876. One centur

y after the United States signed the Declaration of Independence, Colorado was admitted into Union as the 38th state. What many people didn’t realize until many years later, was the beauty of this magnificent state. It is filled with mountains, rivers, lakes, and so much more. The days began with a beautiful sunrise and ended with an equally beautiful sunset. The winters were full of snow and the summers full with life. This is why I chose to make this beautiful state my home, at the age of thirty three. My family and I moved to a small town called Aspen. For the first few years it was amazing. In the winter my family and I would go snowboarding, and in the summer we would take long walks in the beautiful mountains. But it wasn’t like this forever. In February of 1995, my wife was struck with cancer. The doctors said she was not going to make it and to prepare for her death. With great sorrow, I made preparations. Since I could no longer afford our house, I got ready to sell it. My wife got her will in order and she began to make peace with herself as she fought her inevitable fate. Family was always coming over to bring us food and comfort. My wife died in August of 1995. With heavy hearts, we sold the house and made way for Vail to start a new life. This town was similar to Aspen, but was filled with new people and new beginnings. I decided to write a book, wanting a new hobby to take my mind off my wife. I had always been a decent writer, but my wife dying brought new light to writing. I spent hours tucked in my office working on my book. In one of the rare moments that I was out, I met someone. We met at a coffee shop, when she came up to me and introduced herself. She said her name was Isabel and asked me about my life. We talked for hours that day about my life and hers. We soon began to meet every Saturday at this small coffee shop. She would listen to my life story and then I would listen to hers. Every weekday I would work on my book, excited to see her on Saturday. Soon we started dating. It was then that I truly started to heal. A year later we decided to get married. Our marriage was one of the happiest days of my life and at that moment I knew that my life was filled with many more pleasant days. I completed my book just months after. The book is called Passing of The Dead. In this book I talk of all the hardships in my life. I talk of the sorrow my dead wife brought me. Of the gaping hole she left in me with her death. But then I talk about healing. How Isabel showed me to make the hole smaller. How she showed me to fill the sorrowful hole of her death with the memories of our past. In the last chapter of the book I move on to one final, important lesson that I learned. This last chapter is all about finding optimism and being hopeful for a better future. I was lucky when I decided to move to Vail. I was lucky when Isabel came up to me that day. Because of my hope and optimism, I let Isabel in my life. And my life has once again returned into a state of happiness, a state that I thought I would never see again. So I come here today, asking all of you one favor. Next time you feel that you are in pain, do not dwell in your sorrows. Do not only think of the painand dwell in it. Instead, think of all the happy memories before the pain. Be hopeful and optimistic of a better future. Because one day, you will look back on your moments of sorrow and be thankful. Thankful that you experienced everything. Because those experiences are the hands that mold you. And if you dwell in the pain, it will mold you into a lesser person than if you had not done so and instead been optimistic and hopeful.
English
2 answers:
Yuliya22 [10]3 years ago
7 0
Now miss girl- who finna read all that ????? like puh-lease
drek231 [11]3 years ago
6 0
I think it is a great story
Um for the criteria it was very clear and descriptive um I think it is just me but when the narrator said you moved in with your family I thought you meant mom and dad so when you said you had a WifeI got a bit confused but overall great story
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