I would like to change this part:
Into the darkness
"I step out and meet something" <- Shouldnt it be "I step into" since you enter the darkness?
Out of the light
I walk into shadows.
Surrounded by memories,
Rising up from the hallows.
I love that entire part! ^^
Into the darkness
I approach an unseeable creature.
Carefully stepping. one, two,
I see unbelievable features. <- For this part I believe that since you are describing a creature, a word like ghastly instead of unbelievable, it adds a better tone :)
Out of the light
I am engulfed with a feeling. <- Love the use of engulfed :-D
This feeling i am feeling Is quite somehow healing. <- I really love this too
Inst a bad place to be. <- Misspelled isn't :P
Sometimes being in the darkness
Isn't as lonely <- Maybe use isolating? For a stronger use of words.
As you'd think it would be.
Out of the light
I sit inside the mouth I entered. <- Oo love that
I study the motionless movements outside.
And I am utterly deterred.
Into the darkness
No one can see my mistakes.
Out of the light
My true self shows
Without haste.
Good job!!! I really love this :0
