Pa is ashamed of himself because he’s irritated by the fact that Noah is quiet and slow, in contrast to Ma, who has unconditional love for al members of her family.
I think the narrator believes that the men he is talking about lacked vision to anticipate future problems and courageously deal with the consequences ie they did not actively or proactively deal with life but on the contrary allowed themselves to be victims of circumstance. Re the word "I" I think he means that they did not realize the power they had to change the course of events.
In their very first interaction upon meeting, Miranda and Ferdinand decide to get married. When Ferdinand says "I'll make you <span>The queen of Naples", he is saying that he will marry her and she will be queen (because he assumes his father has died in the shipwreck). </span>
There’s no options to choose from..