I was going to the park and all of a sudden I found a puppy! I decided to take it to the vet to make sure it had an owner so I could find the person. The dog didn’t have a owner so I thought I would keep it! I named her Rosie and she is a golden retriever puppy! I’m am so happy I decided to keep her!

Sorry if this isn’t good but that’s what I could think of..is this okay?

8 0

3 years ago

This poem is for a project i need to know if it needs anything changed and how good yall think it is the poem is called you :

VARVARA [1.3K]

Answer:

See explanation for answer.

Explanation:

Tips:

Maybe instead of saying "ain't nothing I want more than your love" say "I want nothing more than your love" for a classier and more professional line.

I would reccommend taking out "you're a catipiller, you're becoming a beuatiful butterfly" because in my opinion it almost seems like your belittling the person you love. Try using a different metaphor.

"ill love you to the day that I die" should be "I'll love you till the day that I die" which I might also change because it sounds very similar to a line in the song "Piano Man" by Billy Joel. Just a tip.

When you say "love is all I need, love is all I want" maybe say "your love is all I need, your love is all I want"

Advice:

Try creating stanzas, it will help your poem look more finished.

Compliments:

I love the comparison "like roses you have thorns" and "like a bull I have horns" cause that's basically you admitting that you know neither of you are perfect.

I love your ending, it's very well thought out.

I hope I helped!

Have a lovely day!

4 0

3 years ago