Question

3. Revise the following paragraph from a student essay. Focus on making the main claim clearer, strengthening the evidence, and addressing problems with plagiarism and improper use of sources. You may choose to use portions of the paragraph as they are written. Underline any phrases or sentences that you copy from the original paragraph. (15 points)
Student paragraph:
Friendships are really good for you. They can help you become the person you've always wanted to be. Psychiatrist Joan Johnson: People with strong friendships report that they feel fulfilled in all areas of their lives, including their careers, while those without strong friendships state they are dissatisfied with their lives (see page 57). Joan Johnson on page 90: "A good friend will listen and be a sounding board when you are trying to decide what job field you want to pursue or which job to take." Friends are supportive about lives. They are good sounding boards.

Answer 1

Friendships have many positive attributes to you. They will transform you into your future self. Psychiatrist Joan Johnson states,”People with strong friendships report that they fulfilled in all areas of their lives, including their careers, while those without strong friendships state they are dissatisfied with their lives”.(page 57). Another thing Johnson stated was”. In conclusion, friends are supportive about lives. They are good for you to vent out your problems.