Question

Read the passage, which lacks vivid description, strong imagery, and dialogue. Then rewrite the passage to include description and dialogue in a way that shows Denise is relieved and joyful.
Passage
Just as the final school bell rang, Ms. Smithers handed Denise the math test. Denise turned away and flipped it over to reveal the grade, and then she stepped out into the hallway and closed the door. She felt happy. Denise walked down the school hallway and out into the afternoon where her mother was waiting. Denise showed her the test, and her mother was happy too.

Answer 1

Answer:

Cheesy adjectives and add many many unnecessarily fluffy descriptions

Explanation:

All you need to do is maybe replace "felt happy" with "her heart pounded with happiness"/"walked down the school hallway" to "excitedly waltzed down the hallway and into the basking rays of the radiant sun" or something of the such and some dialogue lines in between Denise and her mom.  

I think you'll be fine for vivid descriptions and strong imagery as long as you elaborate on Denise's feelings a bit more. I'll give you some bits you can use: "a warm smile", "stomach fluttered", "'I'm proud of the results of my hard work!'"

Anything cheesy should be perfectly enough to satisfy your teacher.

(Apologies that I have not given you a paragraph to copy-paste. Hopefully these pointers can guide you a bit :))