Question

Directions: The following paragraph is an example of a student’s paragraph that does not meet all of the expectations of academic writing. While reading the paragraph, annotate what would need to be changed to meet the expectations of academic writing.
I think video games are bad for the mental health of kids and teenager. “86% of the parents said their teenagers did spend too much time playing video games”... Kids get addicted to video games, the more children play video games, especially violent video games, the more they argue with parents and the worse grades they have a school. Yet some video games are educational and good for kids because they can learn something. Some adults limit the time their kids spend playing video games, but other don’t. I think is good to limit the time when kids play… for example, playing at night really late is bad because the next day kids are tired for school.

Rewrite the paragraph, sentence by sentence, following the expectations of formal style, objective tone, and the norms and conventions of academic writing. Some words or punctuation might need to be added, changed, or removed to help meet the academic writing expectations.

Pls. help me ASAP

Answer 1

Answer:

In my opinion, video games are bad for both kids and teenagers because the genre can affect mood, and the amount of time they have to play can affect grades. “86% of the parents said their teenagers did spend too much time playing video games” ... As kids continue to play video games, they can easily become addicted. Certain genres of video games, including violent games, can cause children and parents to argue and can contribute to worsening grades in school. Although, some video games fall into the educational genre and are good for young kids because they can learn new things.  Some adults limit the number of times children play video games, while others don't, giving kids the chance to play whenever for however long. I believe that it is good to limit the amount of screen time kids have to play video games. Most kids would choose to play games late at night, which can cause them to be tired and sleepy in school. This can also cause grades to slip.

Explanation:

i hope this is good