Okay. So. First of all, rlly nice story =D I'm glad you got what you wanted. Now, to the point.. at first, I started to list every point where i thought you can change, but to be honest, and i mean no offense when i say this, but i think itll take me a very long time and a printed out version to mark it up so i think ill jjust give u a couple of tips. I hope they help.
- you dont exactly have any main idea going... only after reading the entire thing did i understand what "the battle" was and why you were anxious to get the results. you should clarify in the beginning what it is youre talking abt. a sentence like " Sixth grade had just started, and already I had begun to lose focus. My brain seemed to constantly drift towards other, more important things; like the upcoming custody battle between my parents over my brother and I."
-dont use the same word over and over again. try not to use it more than twice in one paragraph, it becomes repetitive, and a little annoying to read. An example: '<span>That battle was cemented in my head, all I could do was think about that battle.', I would change the second "battle" to "it"... you can do the same to other sentences, just look up synonyms and replce them, itll mean the same thing.
- Also, words like "socializing" might be too strong a word to use.... you can put 'talking' lol... its important to remember that you dont always have to use big words, and especially when youre writing a personal narrative, you should stick to ones you use on a day to day basis... save the big ones for formal essays :)
- the tenses seem to change throughout the story.... you start out correctly. in the past tense, and then u use a verb in the future tense, such as "will happen"
- don't add details you dont need or dont support the main idea... like the part about forgetting your brother. its just a side detail. or u can change how u introduce that detail. instead of the two or three sentences about forgetting him, u can just write " I was so anxious and excited to find out what the results were that i forgot to pick up my younger brother on my way back home from school, and ended up having to go all the way back to get him, prolonging the suspense."
If you want more specific details on where to change exactly what, i suggest you go to someone in person, they might be able to help you more. Best of luck! </span>
Is this a book or no cause you made it sound very confusing
Your answer is B Hope this helps
Caged bird is a poem by Maya and it describes the scenarios between two birds a free bird and a caged bird
Explanation:
The main theme of the poem is freedom using the metaphor of a bird Maya evokes the pain of the people suffering without freedom and the people who is ignorant of the freedom that is given to them. For the bird it is very much difficult to see because they are not just bars they are “bars of rage”.
The caged bird is not able to overcome its anger because of its captivity. ”His wings are clipped and his feet’s are tied” the birds is crying for his freedom but it could not be attained
Answer:
Animals have taught us:
Compassion.
Patience.
We're All Connected.
Humans Aren't as Different as We Thought.
Respect Your Elders.
Responsibility.
Listen Carefully.
Animals have taught us so many things with life and as we can see animals aren't as different as us humans; They've taught us responsibility (some proof on that fact is such as taking care of your young and gathering food for the pack/family/tribe) Listening carefully is also a good one something all animals need to have to survive, they use this technique for hunting, looking out for predators, etc. It is used in everyday life. Patience is something all animals need to help them throughout the day its not all easy to catch a fish with your mouth you know!
I hope this helps you! Let me know if it's wrong!! :)
