The malignant murderer ruthlessly assassinated two children.
Answer:
I was going to get some food at night and have a little late-night snack. There is this really big mirror a few rooms from my kitchen and it always gave me spooky vibes like this 0o0 anyways... that night as I was going to get some yogurt or something in the mirror not only was there my reflection like normal, but there was also a little girl too. I'm the only child...except my parents were going to have another baby before me but it passed away before birth..... so ye.
(I made up this story everything is true except for the seeing a little girl part. Imagine this actually happens one night tho.
Explanation:
Answer:
The reason he ask is because he had seen someone entering the westing mansion with a limp and we all know it turtle kick someone it could lead to a sore leg or a limp.
Explanation:
Answer:
If you want the honest feedback, I got you. I was really good, but I have a few suggestions to make it sound more "official":
- Italicize sounds (i.e. change "Thud!" to <em>Thud. </em>in the second paragraph)
- Make sure formatting is reasonable and consistent: "1 month later" is too big, the title should be bigger and "Beanbag" is incorrect (it's bean bag)
- Suspense would work very well in this story. I wouldn't reveal who the speaker is until the last paragraph or even last sentence. To do this, you can touch more on the emotional aspects of this story in the introduction and body paragraphs (no naming names, places, things, etc.) Make it abstract as you can to build up to the answers: Who is talking? What happened to them? Why do they feel this way? Things like that.
- Stop being so repetitive with words like "demon" (maybe substitute for "little devil" or "menace")
- I see the humorous aspect of this story, but I would make sure to not include too many spelling and grammar mistakes.
Sorry if my suggestions are a little too intense, but I can tell you are a good writer and can easily improve in these areas! Please let me know if this helps!
