When most people in Africa has aids, its considered an epidemic. When most people are considered fat asfack in the US its also considered and epidemic.
Rapid weight loss.
Recurring fever or profuse night sweats.
Extreme and unexplained tiredness.
Prolonged swelling of the lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck.
Diarrhea that lasts for more than a week.
Sores of the mouth, anus, or genitals.
Pneumonia.
D would make the most money, but it's up to you! :)
That substance would be cathartic