Question

What can i do to improve my sentence? :

Answer 1

Here, I improved it for you.

It's employing emotional appeal and mentioning suffering from the difficulties to elicit sorrow and sympathy from the audience, in order to encourage them to see their point of view and sympathize with them.

Answer 2

Answer:

For starters , explain what is being shown such as the (Emotional Appeal) if your going to state all of this in 1 sentence also include all the information. Use "Audience" instead of "them" so it doesn't sound as repetative it may sound repatative in terms of word choice but bigger subtext will create influx in your sentence.

Explanation:

Use this for refrence

The excerpt shows emotional appeal towards one's suffering from ..(include what the issue is) ..  causing the audience to feel pity and sympathy towards (name of person) ; whilst trying to persuade the audience to see their point of view and feel for (name of person) .