Question

At the moment I am working on editing a short weather description over on the topic of a storm, any updates to it will be posted to this thread but please give recommendations because it just does not feel fluid yet.
Here it is:

Winds flexed their muscles in the East, whipping the clouds into shape, marching them across a molten silver sky. The black jackboots of the rain tramped across the horizon, stamping cold onto the world beneath, as though some long dead tyrant had returned, armed with winter’s fury. No one was safe. Through this nurturing black came bold streaks of light, pulsing starlight, lightning in great networking forks.

A black cape enveloped the sky: cosmic swirls of thunder clouds armoured in battleship grey; those coming behind streaked with the black of coal smoke; those on the horizon nothing but a smudge on a canvas.

Answer 1

I think maybe the "nurturing black" bit should go, as it messes with the tone of your writing and makes the storm seem less intimidating :(