Question

Read the paragraph. Theodore Roosevelt was the greatest president because as a leader of the Progressive Party, he brought about much-needed social, political, and economic reform. He broke up many large business trusts. He took economic power out of the hands of the wealthy and powerful corporations and placed it in the hands of the ordinary people. Theodore Roosevelt’s reform policies, known as the Square Deal, helped to give the average citizen an equal share of opportunities. A writer could improve this draft by

Answer 1

Answer:

Order of ideas, tone, and punctuation and phrasing could be revised.

Explanation:

It is known that when giving a presentation or writing an essay, the speaker should convince the public little by little, providing evidence that will support the final hypothesis, in this case, how great Roosevelt was. Due to this, the beginning would be: "Theodore Roosevelt was a great president because..."

Punctuation and phrasing are other issues in the paragraph. Some sentences are too long and carry a lot of information that could be overwhelming for the reader (specially for such a short paragraph.) In example, the phrase "he brought about much-needed social, political, and economic reform" could be written again: "his impact could be seen in almost every aspect of the country, such as in politics, economics, and in society in general."

The first statement could be at the end, like "an equal share of opportunities. Due to this, Roosevelt is the greatest president."

Tone is also important because it seems to be part of an essay or a presentation, so words like "broke up" could be changed for more proper ones.

Answer 2

Answer:

adding strong transitions

Explanation:

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