Answer:
Diary, it is me again. It seems I always talk to you when I'm sad. Well, this is because I don't know what happiness and love are like. The last time I felt loved was on my eighth birthday when my mother was alive. I got a gift from her and when I looked into her eyes I saw a love that only a mother can give.
That was the last time I ever felt loved, cherished, and wanted by somebody. Don't get me wrong, I have been in a number of relationships but that was not based on love, it was pure, animalistic lust, or perhaps they loved my bank balance and not me. I cannot blame them, I never truly knew what love was, so how could I give to them what I didn't have or know?
I'm forty-five, rich, successful but empty. I've never found love. I don't know what it means. I've been desperately searching these past months. I've been to more social gatherings this past month than in the past year, but I'm yet to meet the person that would set my heart on fire, that would love me as my mother loved me.
Will I die lonely, even with all these wealth?
