Question

Read this case study and then respond with how you would handle this situation: Randy is a person who frequently offends others due to his honest and open expression. He oftentimes says things frankly as to how he sees it, without self-censorship. He just started a new job and is reflecting upon his behaviors because he wants fit in and have people like him. What obstacle(s) to communicating emotions is Randy struggling with and why? If you were Randy’s interpersonal communication coach, what are two concepts, skills, or guidelines you would share with Randy to help him improve his ability to make friends and influence people? How would these skills help Randy?

Answer 1

Answer:

Openness, and frankness, when it comes to interpersonal communication, may not always be the wisest way to go, especially when facing a new situation like a new job. Although being guarded, closed-off, and isolated is not a good way to fit in, either, too much sincerity, and frankness can also become a communication barrier, because one, you don´t know the people around you, two, they don´t know you either, and three, you are not considering the feelings and views of the others, or the situations.

So, in the case of Randy, who wishes to change his conditions, and become better adapted, I would say this.

1. Randy is struggling with the possibility of offending, hurting, and overstepping certain personal limitations that people naturally have, when he is too open with his ideas and thoughts. He wants to be liked, but he is too upfront with others, often probably underlining what he sees wrong in others, because usually people like him do that. Either he is seeing himself in others, or, he is feeling awkward and wishes to have others feel as he does. Randy needs to remember that there are personal limitations that he needs to respect, often learn to first place himself in the shoes of others, or in the circumstances himself, before he acts, or speaks. So he needs to learn empathy and sympathy.

2.  Empathy and sympathy. Randy needs to learn to first connect with other people by first observing and reflecting on what he sees around him. Also, he needs to learn to see the positive in what he sees. Usually, people who are too blunt do not speak of positive, but negative, aspects. He needs to learn to read his surroundings and place himself in the situation to see how he would act if he were there as the others are.

3. These two skills, and that of learning to think before acting, will help Randy to be more observant, alert, and aware, he will learn to sense his surroundings and read them accurately. This is most important when establishing new connections and relationships, because they will tell a person how to appropriately act, and what to say, in specific situations.