No pueden crecer las flores sin un poco de lluvia
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I would say that it is fight or flight response.
This could cause the contact of HIV, hepatitis C, and other viruses.
Using you-messages puts the blame on the other person which more than likely will escalate the problem. but if you were to use i-statements such as using "I feel upset because this, this, and this" but don't use the word you in the statement because it wouls still be blaming the other person.