Question

Read Fatima’s paragraph.

Answer 1

The sentence that Fatima's teacher is most likely to ask her to revise is the first one - Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.
The tenses are all jumbled up, there is no consistency when it comes to the choice of tenses, and the determiner this before past winter should be changed. Given that the sentence is grammatically inaccurate, and thus doesn't have the correct meaning, it should be altered so as to sound better.

Answer 2

Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. You're Welcome