The sentence that Fatima's teacher is most likely to ask her to revise is the first one - <span>Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. </span>The tenses are all jumbled up, there is no consistency when it comes to the choice of tenses, and the determiner <em>this </em>before <span>past winter </span>should be changed. Given that the sentence is grammatically inaccurate, and thus doesn't have the correct meaning, it should be altered so as to sound better.
