In general you want to be a bit more concise in forming a thesis statement. Usually you should shoot for between 1 and 2 sentences summarizing your argument in a concise way so that it is easily understandable to the reader. I would take what you have written and look for your main argument and try and put that in 1 to 2 sentences.
You can use
Almost very too enough
The sirens would show themselves as beautiful mermaids, and they would sing of the sailors' greatest desires and offer them their greatest desires.
Answer: The answer is Hers, Him, and Ours.
Explanation:
