As tom grow older he begins to worry about his external soul so he turn to church attendance.
“The sincerity in his beliefs were unquestionable” hope that helps
I believe that you should just check your spelling , capitalize some I's and the word January .
You should also give more detail about the Sunday event.
When you say the word conclusion I begin to think about a short paragraph / summary , this means you should bring the reader in , draw my attention to your mint idea.
I really hope that I'm helping you , :)
