Question

Hello, I'm French, I had to write a text in English someone could correct it or tell me if it's good

Answer 1

Answer:try writing it like this maybe youll sound a little more smarter

Explanation:

If I were a celebrity, I would get involved in various charitable organizations to help those in need. I would perform charity events and collect donations. I would also go out into the field and help prepare meals.

Being a woman myself, I would also get involved in various social causes, such as fighting against gender discrimination. I would also defend the rights of women who have been victims of aggression.

Despite the progress that has been made in the world, there are still inequalities between men and women.

Answer 2

English

The text seems to use "i" way too much such as I would and I will. Also has way to many run on sentances such as "I will go out into the field to do voluntary work, I will help prepare meals and distribute them, I will participate in the management of these associations, I will seek subsidies from various organisations."

I revised your original essay.

If I were a celebrity, I would get involved in associations to help people in precarious situations. With the concerts I host, the money that goes toward it will go directly to charity programs. Another thing i'd like to do is go out and volunteer for my cominuty by helping prepare meals for citizens who are in need. I will seek subsidies from various organisations for my community. Also, I will get involved in the fight against women's inferiority. Being a woman myself, I would fight to defend our rights by organizing different demonstrations. I can be the woman who actually listens to their stories.  Women can rely me when they are in need of help of different, major circumstances. No woman should be inferior to a man or submissive. The world may be changing but the inequalities are still far too great.

French

Le texte semble utiliser trop de "i", comme je le ferais et je le ferai. A aussi beaucoup couru sur des phrases telles que « j'irai sur le terrain pour faire du bénévolat, j'aiderai à préparer les repas et à les distribuer, je participerai à la gestion de ces associations, je chercherai des subventions auprès de divers organismes. "

J'ai révisé votre essai original.

Si j'étais une célébrité, je m'impliquerais dans des associations pour aider les personnes en situation de précarité. Avec les concerts que j'anime, l'argent qui y est consacré ira directement à des programmes caritatifs. Une autre chose que j'aimerais faire est de faire du bénévolat pour ma communauté en aidant à préparer des repas pour les citoyens dans le besoin. Je vais chercher des subventions auprès de divers organismes pour ma communauté. Aussi, je m'impliquerai dans la lutte contre l'infériorité des femmes. Étant moi-même une femme, je me battrais pour défendre nos droits en organisant différentes manifestations. Je peux être la femme qui écoute réellement leurs histoires. Les femmes peuvent compter sur moi lorsqu'elles ont besoin d'aide dans des circonstances différentes et majeures. Aucune femme ne devrait être inférieure à un homme ou soumise. Le monde est peut-être en train de changer mais les inégalités sont encore bien trop importantes.