I love going to the zoo with my dad. Many of the animals are cool and we like looking at animals especially lions. because (lions are big and strong and strong animals are scary) (Change : They are tough and ferocious, which makes them scary) in real life but when they are in a cage it isn't so bad. but I would never want to be put in a cage because I would get sad. so (I don't know if the animals are happy or sad but) (change : Uncertain if the animals will feel happy or sad themselves) my dad (says)(change : said) that the animals at the zoo are very well taken care of and i shouldn't worry about them.

Explanation:

I added brackets to the parts where i changed the sentenced, underlined the parts I would cross out and bold the periods.

Where it says change : don't add that in the sentence.

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3 years ago