Question

Have you ever been in the position of being caught between two people who are disagreeing or actually fighting? If you haven’t, imagine what it might be like. This is a little bit how America felt at the beginning of the War of 1812. What if you didn’t want to take sides, but you were being pressured by both of the other people? What are some of the ways you would handle this situation

Answer 1

Declare your Neutrality: If you want to keep both friendships intact, try not to take a side. Let your friends know that you’d like to stay out of the fray. Hopefully, they will respect your wishes, and keep from involving you in too much drama. Just make sure to put some thought into the conversation. You don’t want your desire to stay neutral to be mistaken as indifference. Try to make it clear that you’re staying out of the argument because you care so much about both friends; not because you don’t care at all. Let both friends know that you’ll be available if they need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to help take their mind off the drama. You just won’t join either one in conversations or actions that could hurt the other.
Be Careful with your Words: When friends are feuding, they’ll probably feel the need to vent about each other. Even if you’ve asked not to be involved, your friends may still come to you looking for sympathy, or a morale boost. When that happens, it can be tempting to join in on the venting. Maybe you think some valid points are being made. Or maybe, venting seems like a good way to show solidarity. But you have to remember that words always run the risk of being repeated. The more you say about a person behind their back, the more likely you are to face consequences for those words later on. So, if a friend needs to get some things off his/her chest, try to listen without breaking your commitment to stay neutral.
Be Trustworthy: Sometimes, people say things they don’t mean, and later regret. This is especially true when someone is feeling emotional. So be prepared for the fact that your friends may say some things about each other that aren’t very nice. Keep in mind, they are probably only saying these things because they are hurt, or angry, or sad. It is okay to disagree. It is okay to tell your friend you disagree. But it is not a good idea to relay what’s been said back to your other friend. That will only cause more pain, and fuel the fire. Plus, it will raise questions for both friends about your trustworthiness, and overall loyalty. So, keep your conversations with each friend private. Once the dust settles, they will probably feel differently, and will appreciate that you didn’t throw them under the bus in their moment of weakness.
Ask for help, if needed: It’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to be sick of watching what you say, and tiptoeing around everybody’s feelings. And it’s probably a good idea to consider opening up to a parent, guidance counselor, sibling, or someone else you trust, and who is uninvolved in the situation. You need a safe place to discuss how you’re feeling. You will also need someone to step in, if you start to become genuinely concerned about the fight. Does one of your friends seem to be crossing the line into bullying? Is anyone at risk for being physically harmed? Is the fight taking a severe emotional toll on one or both friends? If you’re worried, you should say something. It’s what’s best for everyone in the long run.

Answer 2

I would cut off ties with both sides so they know that neutrality is declared. By not choosing sides and cutting off alliances with both of them, it shows that there is no interest on my end of the war.