Question

Why should sentence 4 be removed from this conclusion? It criticizes those who disagree with the writer. It strengthens the viewpoint of the opposition. It states a fact that is unrelated to the topic. It unnecessarily restates the editorial’s claim.

Answer 1

Sentence 4 should be removed from this conclusion because it unnecessarily restates the editorial's claim. The opening sentence states "year-round schooling would help student achievement" and then sentence 4 restates "it is clear that year-round schooling helps students learn and retain more".  The conclusion is what you leave to the reader, it wraps around your essay, it shows that you have proved your thesis. You should summarize what you have written about in your paper but you should avoid simply restating your thesis statement as it is redundant.