Something else to consider is that dramatic dialogue should create a sense of immediacy with the reader. In other words, the reader should identify with the characters and the situation. That should come from the emotion, tension and conflict created. They should feel the fear of a character in danger.
Maybe adjusting to new situations better.
Hope this helps :)
Okay so I see some errors. Like<span> "he actually wrapped my arm in a bandage-like way once he thought" this is worded weirdly and awkwardly. Work on your comma's through out the piece.
It is very funny, especially the end I enjoyed it.
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That's not a full sentence. "the glacier" is a phrase, not a sentence.
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What kind of essay , i'll try to help! (:
