Question

This is for English, keep in mind I'm not done. I got poor feedback on my other other song."taking my life isn't appropriate for school" It'll be appropriate when I'm dead. Anyways, how is this one so far, and what should I change?
I know you don't wanna be hurt

I mean it's clear girl

I heard The words

But to me You mean

More than the world

And I'd give Anything

To have one chance

One chance with you girl

Answer 1

Answer:

I think it's perfect

Explanation:

saying how you feel is always the way to go.. never supress emotions

Answer 2

Answer: I think the song is really good, but saying ‘girl’ makes it sound kind of tacky. You could take it out or replace it with something like a one syllable name.