Document for Analysis: Improving a Negative, Discourteous, and Unprofessional Message (L.O. 4, 5) Communication Technology E-mai
l Team Your Task Analyze the following e-mail to be sent by the vice president to all supervisors and managers. In teams or individually, discuss the tone and writing faults in this message. Your instructor may ask you to revise the e-mail so that it reflects some of the writing techniques you learned in this chapter. How can you make this e-mail more courteous, positive, concise, precise, and audience-oriented? Consider revising it as a collaboration project using Word's Track Changes and Comment features. To: All Supervisors and Departmental Managers From: Richard Mangrove, Vice President, Employee Relations Subject: Dangerous Employee Performance Evaluations All, This is something I hate to do, but I must warn you that recently one of our employees filed a lawsuit against the company because of comments a supervisor made during a performance evaluation. This did not have to happen. Look, people, you must do better! Because none of you are dense, here are suggestions you must share with all supervisors and managers regarding companywide evaluations: You cannot accurately evaluate an employee's performance unless you have a system to measure that performance. That's why the obvious very first step is developing performance standards and goals for each employee. To be effective, these standards and goals must be shared with the employee. However, don't do it orally. Do it in writing. The performance of each employee must be monitored throughout the year. Keep a log for each worker. Note memorable incidents or projects in which he was involved. But don't just keep favorable comments. I know that many of you are understandably averse to placing negative comments in an employee's file. However, MAN UP! Even negative comments must be included as part of the evaluation process. Once a year each employee must be formally evaluated in a written performance appraisal—yes, I do mean writing! In a face-to-face meeting, let the employee know what you think they did well and what areas the employee may be able to improve. Be specific, give deadlines, be honest, and be realistic. Giving evaluations can be difficult. With careful preparation, however, the process can be smooth and safe. Don't allow yourself or the company to get involved in any more legal ramifications. Richard Mangrove [Complete contact information]
