It's okay to cry, especially in these situations. Cry as much as you need and if you ever feel suicidal or just need someone to talk to then find a hotline. There are many communities/platforms that contain people that have been through the same situation.
Remanence, remember all the good things/times you had! Know that as soon as they are out then you'll get to make more memories and have more fun times. You can listen to their favorite song, make up a welcome back song, look at pictures, visit places you went, ETC.
because they care for you and even grow to love you. They also have to keep you occupied so children will not start to get out of hand because of boredom.