If you take joy in seeing people hurt mentally, it could escalate to physical torment quickly. This is dangerous and will turn into a crime.
It can cause people to commit suicide, and have mental issues as well.
You are not only ruining yourself, but others.
You and your boyfriend need serious help.
I'd talk to your parents. At least you are noticing this now, I hope you plan to become better and learn to change your ways.
You should make sure yourself is stable enough to have and care for a child, have enough food for the child, a job/career, etc. There is many different answers to this
