Human beings have a base biological need for emotional connection with other people. Throughout human evolution, being a part of a group of people was necessary for survival. Our distant ancestors could not survive alone outside in the harsh elements hunting for food and water and seeking shelter and safety. Humans have survived by being able to connect with other people in a manner which allowed them to remain within a group. Being seen as dangerous, selfish, or unable to connect and contribute to the group meant being ostracized and soon after, death.
Even today, without the dangers our distant ancestors faced, our biological systems are strongly geared toward social engagement. The only priority that trumps social engagement is physical survival. This means that our nervous systems are built to respond quickly and automatically, without any thought, to keep us alive AND in connection with other people. Some level of emotional connection is paramount to our survival and health. Feelings of loneliness, detachment, and isolation are not merely due to individual histories or personalities. They are built-in warning signs that we are missing life-sustaining connection with other people.
