Change “beautiful” to “alluring”. Capitalize the R in “Rain”, you are talking about a specific person. Change family in “..envied her family looks” to “family’s”. “her aura, her smile, and even the way her fingers felt against ones skin could send waves of chills down your spine. She was as sweet as pie, the kind you’d find walking into a bakery 10 minutes after it opened. Never selfish, full of empathy of not only humans but for life itself.” Not sure where you are wanting to go with your story, but it is very grasping of the mind :).
