Question

Read the following scenario, and determine what revision should be made.Kate is writing a letter to a colleague congratulating her on a promotion. She asks you to proofread the letter. You notice she uses a lot of "I" statements. What advice would you give? a. Be selfless. Focus the message on the receiver.b. Don’t forget to compliment her on the food she brought to last month’s company potluck.c. Use flowery language instead of "I" statements

Answer 1

While congratulating her colleague on her promotion, Kate should focus the message on the receiver.

Explanation:

As the person in focus is Kate's colleague who has got a promotion and not Kate herself, it would sound more appropriate if Kate talks about her colleague's achievement instead of herself. It is an important moment in the life and career of Kate's colleague and she deserves the accolade.

It would not be considered quiet civilized for Kate to talk about herself on such occasion. In her letter, Kate should keep the focus on her colleague's achievements.