Question

Revising for clarity is an important revision task. Clear messages are immediately understood and appreciated. To improve the clarity of your message, keep your sentences short and simple, and dump trite business phrases.
Which of the following sentences employ the KISS formula? Check all that apply.
We are processing your request to the best of our abilities.
Our company is pleased to have processed your request.
Your request is noteworthy and has been processed through the correct channels.
Your request has been processed.
The trite business phrase as per your request can be revised as .
Determine which revision of each the following sentences provides the most clarity.
I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that the changes to your account will post soon.
As per your verbal instruction, changes to your account will post on Tuesday.
I am taking this opportunity to inform you that changes to your account will post on Tuesday.
The changes to your account will post on Tuesday.
Pursuant to your request, the sales managers will be a ubiquitous presence in case they are needed.
Every effort will be made for sales managers to be available if needed.
Sales managers are available if needed.
Per your request, the sales managers should be an omnipresent presence if needed.
Which sentence provides the most clarity?
Mary, from human resources, would like to explain the changes with reference to your employee benefits.
Mary, from human resources, will explain the changes to your employee benefits.
In accordance with company policy, the human resources associate would like to codify the new employee benefits information.

Answer 1

Answer:

ANSWERS TO PART A:   Sentence 2 and Sentence 4

ANSWER TO PART B:    Sentence 3

ANSWER TO PART C:    Sentence 3

ANSWER TO PART D:    Sentence 2

Explanation:

In Part A, which of the sentences employs the Keep It Short & Simple formula?

We start by labelling the sentences and then selecting the right answers.

Remember the rules are that the sentences must not be long and complex and also must not contain trite business phrases.

1. We are processing your request to the best of our abilities.

2. Our company is pleased to have processed your request.

3. Your request is noteworthy and has been processed through the correct channels.

4. Your request has been processed.

PART B: Which sentence provides the most clarity?

1. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that the changes to your account will post soon.

2. As per your verbal instruction, changes to your account will post on Tuesday.

3. I am taking this opportunity to inform you that changes to your account will post on Tuesday.

4. The changes to your account will post on Tuesday.

PART C: Which sentence provides the most clarity?

1. Pursuant to your request, the sales managers will be a ubiquitous presence in case they are needed.

2. Every effort will be made for sales managers to be available if needed.

3. Sales managers are available if needed.

4. Per your request, the sales managers should be an omnipresent presence if needed.

PART D: Which sentence provides the most clarity?

1. Mary, from human resources, would like to explain the changes with reference to your employee benefits.

2. Mary, from human resources, will explain the changes to your employee benefits.

3. In accordance with company policy, the human resources associate would like to codify the new employee benefits information.