Question

Please check and edit for me! It's not super long ;)

Answer 1

Answer:

edited:

    She exhaled deeply, eyeing the brown clock vigilantly. One more hour of utter boredom and suffering. Her afterschool activity had been canceled last minute, meaning she had to wait to be picked up with nothing to do till it would have ended. She sat on a dirty and peeling maroon bench in the schoolyard, her back to the worn soccer pitch.  Figuring she might as well find some way to pass the time before finally going home, she began to doodle in her orange and blue notebook.

Step-by-step explanation:

1. yes, they work together to set the scene by providing details to where she is and why. the sentences describe her emotions without making the paragraph boring.

2. for the most part, the reasoning for her being there afterschool could have been mentioned first but the way it is currently written makes sense regardless.

3. the writer could have included transitions to better connect the sentences. but overall, it is well written.